The Method

The Armchair Checklist

You can rule out nine houses in ten without leaving your kitchen table. Why burn five days and a tank of diesel driving to a semi on a main road with a barn that has to come down — when ten minutes of free checks would have told you to skip it?

This is the single most useful page on the site. Time, travel and fuel are exactly the money a cheap-house project can't afford to waste — so do the homework first, and only ever get in the van for the two or three places that have already survived every test. Here's the routine, in three stages.

A

Free desk-checks

All free, all in minutes — these kill most duds before you even email an agent.

1Satellite & Street View

Google Maps & geoportail.gouv.fr

Is it detached or a terrace? On a main road? In a village or stranded miles out? What's the setting really like?

Catches: semis, roadside, isolated or urban plots — on sight.

2Géorisques — the ground

georisques.gouv.fr → type the address → report

The big one. Clay shrink-swell, flood, radon, old mining, nuclear zones. “Fort/Important” clay is usually a walk-away — here's why clay is a nightmare.

Catches: the clay, flood and pollution that make cheap houses money-pits.

3Cadastre — the plot

cadastre.gouv.fr / geoportail.gouv.fr parcels

Is the land one single block? Is it the size the listing claims? Or is the “acre” three fields down the lane — or just the footprint and a verge?

Catches: split land, borrowed woodland, and “no land” dressed up.

4Read the French for water & drains

eau de ville / tout-à-l'égout = mains (good). puits / fosse / assainissement à refaire = well / septic / to redo.

Catches: an expensive drainage surprise, before you fall for the photos.

5The viager trap

Skip anything that says “viager” — a suspiciously cheap price often means the seller lives there for life and you pay a monthly annuity.

Catches: the “£20k bargain” you can't actually move into.

6Distance checks

How far to a café or bakery, to shops, to your route home, and what's the cycling and walking like? A dead-quiet spot is lovely until it's a 40-minute drive for milk.

Catches: the isolation that looks romantic and lives lonely.
B

Then email the agent

Only for the ones that survive Stage A — and let the agent do the legwork.

  • Taxe foncière — last year's bill (your biggest holding cost)
  • Who pays the agency feeshonoraires vendeur or acquéreur?
  • Real recent photos — wall corners, internal cracks, floor level, and the roof timbers
  • Roof — just the tiles, or the charpente (framework) too?
  • Water — mains, or a well? (year-round? tested? declared? on your land?)
  • Drains — mains sewer, septic, or to create? SPANC-compliant?
  • Time on market“depuis combien de temps en vente?” (your negotiating leverage)
  • Diagnostics — DPE and amiante (asbestos), to flush out a costly roof
  • Heritage — is it in a listed-monument ABF perimeter? (solar restrictions)
C

Only now, travel

By the time you get in the van, you're seeing two or three survivors, not touring hopefuls — and you view them all in one efficient trip. Stage A was free, Stage B was the agent's legwork; Stage C is the only bit that costs you time and fuel.

Patience, then pounce

The genuine bargains sell in days — everyone local can see one too. So do all of this in advance: know your non-negotiables, have your alerts running, and be able to run these checks in your sleep. Then the day a match lands, you move the same afternoon — not next week.

The checklist in action — houses we walked away from

Every one of these was killed by a check above, from the armchair, for free.

Chastellux (Yonne) — sold in days

A perfect £14k cottage with barn, stable, well and woodland. We did the homework — but it went before we could move.

Lesson · do the checks in advance, and pounce

Thollet (Vienne) — the clay & damp killed it

The best find on paper — two barns, 8,543 m² — but Géorisques rated the commune's clay “Important” with 7 subsidence declarations and a rising water table. See the full case study.

Caught by · Check 2, Géorisques

Neuilly (Nièvre) — the clay killed it

£15k, but Géorisques rated the commune high for clay — which explained the barn's cracks and tie-rod. Semi-detached, demolition barn, moving ground.

Caught by · Check 2, Géorisques

Colmery (Nièvre) — the land wasn't there

A “¾-hectare farmstead” — until the cadastre showed the buildings on 517 m² and the “land” as a detached orchard elsewhere, plus a full re-roof and three houses.

Caught by · Check 3, the cadastre

Alligny-Cosne (Nièvre) — clay, nuclear, and fake photos

A £5k “bargain”: clay Important, in a nuclear iodine zone, roof holed — and the glossy lead photos were AI-generated “finished” renders, not the real house.

Caught by · Checks 1 & 2 (and ignoring the AI photos)

Now you know the drill

Pick your patch, set your alerts, and check every place from the armchair before you drive a single mile.

Where to buy — and where to avoid →

Every tool here is free and public. The whole point: spend ten minutes at the kitchen table, not five days on the road — and keep your money for the roof.